Salmon: Getting the Short End of Life's Stick

Note to self: when it's time to be reincarnated, avoid the Salmon option. You only get laid once, and then you die immediately afterwards. And that's assuming you don't get eaten first: you've got to avoid bears, eagles, sea lions, and of course, humans. If there is any cosmic justice out there, one can only hope that this is the fate reserved for murderers, pedophiles, and people who start wars under false pretenses... with any luck, the latter will have a slow lingering evisceration before being chowed down.